Yearbook Reply “Sheepskins”

The reply below is to a teacher.  Mrs. Fodrell.  You may remember her as Ms. Leslie.  We all found her fair and nice, and most of all a hottie.  I later had her for freshman english (or remedial something related to language arts).

A bit of history to this…  Brent Stockstill and I used to poke fun at Lisa Bolen for wearing these strange boots that we referred to as “sheepskins”.  They were the precusor to the Ugg boots but with a shorter ankle that resembled something worn in a Robin Hood stage play.  What can I say, we were 13 and cruel.  I apologize.  In my defense, we were not malicious and it was never anything more than 7th grade hazing.  If I recall, Lisa enjoyed the attention and as best I can remember she never cried.

Dear Mrs Fodrell, I apologize for your lack of understanding concerning the “sheepskins”.  You have much better fashion sense than a silly 7th grade girl.  Your flipped up collars and brunette bangs were smokin’.  You should have been on Dynasty.  I digress…

Just to clear things up, “sheepskins” did not refer to condoms.  They were crappy looking boots.

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Amusement parks (oh yes they do)

[Begin Adam Carolla voice doing Bill Simmons voice}
Dear Online Diary,  This Saturday I went to the best place in the universe.  I took my wife and kids to Worlds of Fun.  It’s an amusement park.  We had a good time riding roller coasters and eating over priced concessions.  It was hot.  Really Hot!

[End voice]

Yes, It was hot.  We sweated all day.  We drank fluids.  I am still a bit dehydrated.  We arrived around 3pm and stayed until midnight.  Our bodies had a constant film on them.  There was some relief by riding the Fury of the Nile and some rides had those NFL sideline mist things.

We did have a good time.  We wore out the kids to the point they fell asleep on the ride home.  That’s one of those triumphant parenting things when your kids are wiped out after a quality Clark W Griswold outing.

Worlds of Fun can also be considered a world of diverse cultures and sub-cultures.  Plenty of Hispanics, white trash, African American, and Asian people who patronize the park.  Locals from the urban core and Christian buses traveling in from the rural parts of the region.  The sub cultures are the teens and pre-teens traipsing around presenting themselves to their peers.  I am getting old.  I don’t understand them.  I somewhat fear them.  Who can blame them with the 40-something white trash tramp stamp ladies not far behind.  I even saw a cleavage tramp stamp.  Does that have a name?  It’s a people watching bonanza.  It’s also a people listening buffet when you get caught near some of the more vocal species in line listening to conversations.  It lives up to the hype, “Worlds of Fun”.

I thought of a good way to round up dead beat dads.  Advertise free season passes and when those guys show up at the ticket window, serve them papers.

Aside from the body odor, the halter tops,  the teens, and some of the crazy looking people, it was a fun time.

Our family has not been in some time.  We try to go about every couple of years.  It’s interesting to see the changes to the park and always fun to ride the rides that have been there for 30 plus years.

The cattle pin line for the Taxi’s has not changed.  It is narrow and the closeness with humanity is not for me.  Especially on a 95 degree day with no breeze.  These things were built in the 70’s when obesity was not such a problem.

The new rides are fun.  Cooper and I rode the Prowler after dark and it was awesome. We had to endure a long wait due to a mechanical problem with the ride but we kept our spot in line despite being behind a large man who kept passing gas.  Did I mention there was no breeze?

The viking voyager (log ride) is still the same.  We rode as a family.  We had a great time.  We got a little wet too.  The end of the ride you can view the plunge photos they take and we had to buy one because the expression on our faces was so funny.  $9 well spent.

When we got home at 1am or so, we walked into a house with no air conditioning.  The house was 90 degrees and we had to open the windows and sleep it out and get it repaired in the morning.  That’s another story.  Dear environmentalists, your desire to ban certain substances results in a common failure of capacitors that don’t hold up in 95 degree heat.

Skecher lady part 2

Our Nanny was unavailable so I took the boy to Subway (again, sandwiches not transport) for some food for the 2nd night in a row.

Pow!  The one-legged Skecher lady was there.  So I took a photo.

I do realize my actions may be viewed as insensitive and cruel.  I will do my best here to not be insensitive.  I have ample sympathy for this woman and wish her well.  My posting this is for simple observational humor and I have taken steps to hide the identities of the parties involved.

However, if she robbed a bank I think we could track her down.  APB: “Elderly Caucasian woman.  Leaving eastbound on a motorized scooter at a not so high rate of speed.  Shes wearing depends,  light colored t-shirt, dark shorts, one skecher shape-up.  Oh… and has one leg.  Minimal flight risk. She has a sack of money with a dollar sign on it.  And… she loves to eat at Subway.”

Skecher Lady Part 1.

I had one of those moments in life last night when I saw something that I didn’t know what to think.  As a person, who lives life to let those do what they wish I was conflicted with what I am about to describe.

My son and I were at a local subway (sandwiches, not transport).

Sidebar:  did you know they serve their breakfast sandwiches all day?  This is awesome!  I have been screaming for years that McDonalds should serve McMuffin’s all day.  I digress.

In line in front of us was an elderly lady and what appeared to be her grandson.  He was ordering their food and paying for it.  Seemed like a nice kid.

He left the store with his food and left grandma sitting at a table to enjoy her fare.  Not sure why but it seemed odd to take granny to the Subway, buy her dinner and split.  Grandma was a bit on the heavy side and sat there eating talking on her cell phone the entire time.  Hopefully she was doing the Jared diet.  The scenario gets more interesting.

I noticed she was wearing one of those Skechers shoes with the rounded sole for improving your health (etc etc).  “Shape Ups”?  Or something like that.

On the surface this is not odd at all.  I would applaud anyone of any age taking an interest and effort in their physical health.  But here is where it was strange.

1. She was in a motorized scooter.  Note: Subway is not Wal-mart (nor were we in a Wal-mart).  She owns the scooter.  She showed at the Subway on the scooter.

(if you spend your time motoring around, why bother with the high tech tennies?)

Here’s the kicker.  No PUN intended.

2. She had one leg.

……………. that’s about all I have to say.

I want to know where the other Skecher is.