[Begin Adam Carolla voice doing Bill Simmons voice}
Dear Online Diary, This Saturday I went to the best place in the universe. I took my wife and kids to Worlds of Fun. It’s an amusement park. We had a good time riding roller coasters and eating over priced concessions. It was hot. Really Hot!
Yes, It was hot. We sweated all day. We drank fluids. I am still a bit dehydrated. We arrived around 3pm and stayed until midnight. Our bodies had a constant film on them. There was some relief by riding the Fury of the Nile and some rides had those NFL sideline mist things.
We did have a good time. We wore out the kids to the point they fell asleep on the ride home. That’s one of those triumphant parenting things when your kids are wiped out after a quality Clark W Griswold outing.
Worlds of Fun can also be considered a world of diverse cultures and sub-cultures. Plenty of Hispanics, white trash, African American, and Asian people who patronize the park. Locals from the urban core and Christian buses traveling in from the rural parts of the region. The sub cultures are the teens and pre-teens traipsing around presenting themselves to their peers. I am getting old. I don’t understand them. I somewhat fear them. Who can blame them with the 40-something white trash tramp stamp ladies not far behind. I even saw a cleavage tramp stamp. Does that have a name? It’s a people watching bonanza. It’s also a people listening buffet when you get caught near some of the more vocal species in line listening to conversations. It lives up to the hype, “Worlds of Fun”.
I thought of a good way to round up dead beat dads. Advertise free season passes and when those guys show up at the ticket window, serve them papers.
Aside from the body odor, the halter tops, the teens, and some of the crazy looking people, it was a fun time.
Our family has not been in some time. We try to go about every couple of years. It’s interesting to see the changes to the park and always fun to ride the rides that have been there for 30 plus years.
The cattle pin line for the Taxi’s has not changed. It is narrow and the closeness with humanity is not for me. Especially on a 95 degree day with no breeze. These things were built in the 70’s when obesity was not such a problem.
The new rides are fun. Cooper and I rode the Prowler after dark and it was awesome. We had to endure a long wait due to a mechanical problem with the ride but we kept our spot in line despite being behind a large man who kept passing gas. Did I mention there was no breeze?
The viking voyager (log ride) is still the same. We rode as a family. We had a great time. We got a little wet too. The end of the ride you can view the plunge photos they take and we had to buy one because the expression on our faces was so funny. $9 well spent.
When we got home at 1am or so, we walked into a house with no air conditioning. The house was 90 degrees and we had to open the windows and sleep it out and get it repaired in the morning. That’s another story. Dear environmentalists, your desire to ban certain substances results in a common failure of capacitors that don’t hold up in 95 degree heat.