Whooaaaa!!!! Been a long time since my last stupid uttering.

Today I would like to talk about “Speechists”. These are people who form protests in an opposite response to some celebrity who speaks out through their chosen craft. For example, the gay activists who have been protesting Eminem. Eminem is merely saying words that portray a thought (whether or not he truly believes it or not). It is not wrong to say something. It may be in poor taste, but it is not wrong. NOTE: the gay activists have a right to protest. Personally, I don’t think that Eminem really believes in what he sells. I believe his product is selling from the adverse effect it has on the public. The music is centered around rebellion (as is most music targeted at teens). We have all heard it before. Note: I am quite fascinated with the style of the music that Eminem has put together. The lyrics are powerful and the rhymes are creative.

Speechists are typically a breed of folk that do not have much better to do. “I have some extra time, I think I will protest…. hmmmm…. that thing I saw on MTV”. In most cases, the Speechists merely add to the already growing synergy and thus counteract their own cause. Quite funny really. The TV show Married with Children grew in popularity as soon as some old lady began to complain. Slap an “R” rating on a Disney film and I bet you get a 25% increase in box office sales. Put a “Violent Content” sticker on a CD and watch the kids spend spend spend. Thanks Tipper.

Knuckleheads.

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The Suburban Nerd (This week on the Discovering Channel)

You see them out occassionally. They don’t stand out in a crowd when alone. They are often found in computer stores from 9am to 5pm and science fiction conventions. They often in speak in techno-gibberish. It IS english, but you won’t understand what they are saying.

… they are… {dunt dunt duuuuuuuu} The Suburban Nerd (surb-nerds).

These interesting creatures travel in packs. They are harmless. They won’t attack. As a matter of fact, their skiddishness increases at the site of a fleshy female beauty. Suburban Nerds will escape the warm glow of their 21″ monitors and venture into the daylight. You will find them huddled up around the latest network card or newest star wars book. They can be spotted when not travelling in their herd. They are usually in their 40’s, but holding on to that 80’s style rattail hairdo. Their fashion sense lacks anything within the last 2 years style. On occasion their clothing will match when they are wearing black jeans with a black star trek t-shirt.

Lucky for most of us, they do not mate. They seldom are found sniffing the proverbial butt of the opposite sex. If Surb-nerds did mate, could you imagine the untapped resource by which NASA could exploit and further our our technological advances? Our math programs would be closer to that of Asian countries. Just imagine…

Today I have a couple of blogs. I want to comment on the behavior of one Allen Iverson (NBA stud) and the use of hand written checks.

First,… written checks. Stardate: 2001 (that sounds pretty futuristic). It is Futuristic. We live in the NOW!!!! We are living in an age where most everything we do involves some sort of electronic transaction. Why are people still using checks at Wal-Mart (and other popular wholesale stores)? What a pain in the ass! While Timmy the checkout dude has to call for a “CSM” to approve your check, the rest of us with a measly 3 items have to wait on YOU!!!! . Every bank issues a check card nowadays. Get with the times. Get your blip card today.

Alternative… Let’s say that some people HAVE to use a check. Let’s put them all on an island… no wait wrong idea {I was thinking about that Kurt Russell movie} I say there should be a pre-approval process for your checks. When you walk into the store go up to the “desk” and have them approve your check ahead of time. That way the other more advanced citizens don’t have to wait on your Model-A method of purchase for Camels, National Enquirer, Coleman stove, kitchen cleanser, fertilizer, plastic baggies, and Vess cola. Everyone’s happy! Speed it up. No more waiting in line behind that smelly lady or the ugly little grubby kids who can’t keep their hands off of the impulse candy section who only scream when Mom won’t allow them to get the item of choice. God save us all.

Allen was recently fined by the NBA for shouting profanity back at some fans. Iverson claims that the fans were unruly and used racial slurs when directing their words toward him. The use of racial slurs has not been proven, but for the sake of argument let’s say that the Indiana fans actually DID say those words. As wrong and despicable as the words are, Iverson should expect to hear something from the mouths of fans or opposing fans. Let’s remember that Iverson is about to release an album full of less than desireable lyrics. Not having heard the music personally, I am speculating that Iverson’s upcoming album release will have as much acclaim as Eminem’s album. You reap what you sew. In this case, Iverson hasn’t made any friends with his “music” so he should expect some amatuer critics spouting their opinions from the baseline bleacher seats. I believe in the First Amendment, but I also know that what is said can be met with resistance. This is a classic case of a young person not ready to accept the consequences of their actions. PS. Unruly fans should be removed from the stadium. …or should they under the First Amendment?